I am a very logical person and don't normally get emotional about things. My boyfriend of over two years and I had spoken before about what we would do if I ever got pregnant - that I would get an abortion. I knew I must be pregnant before I even missed my period - I could just tell. I took the test and it came back positive. My boyfriend asked me what I wanted to do, in case I felt any different about it, but I knew I wanted to get an abortion.
At the time it seemed like a very matter-of-fact decision. It was the right choice, the logical choice. It took us a while to get the money for the surgical abortion - three months. I had to sell my professional camera to afford it, something I really didn't want to do. At the time I was living on my own in another town and had to go through it by myself. I woke up every morning and felt sick and was in pain. I had moved back into town before the time of my abortion. My boyfriend came to the clinic with me to make sure I was okay.
I didn't feel anything emotionally during the abortio n- I just knew it was the right thing to do. I was only nineteen, going to school, trying to support myself... and I was very detached from my family. Having a baby would have been too much for my boyfriend and me at the time. When I came home from the clinic, I napped for a few hours and was shaking. The next day and the week following, I felt great. It felt so nice not to be sick every day! I learned to appreciate simply feeling healthy.
However, the next week I began to feel very depressed. Every night I would go home early from seeing my friends and cry by myself. I tried to be around my friends and raise my mood, but it didn't help. My boyfriend tried to help me, talk to me, be there for me every night to make me feel better... but he just didn't understand completely. He had a different experience than I did with it. I was far away and sick every single day, and he didn't know how hard it had been for me. Eventually one night I went to my friend's house and cried and cried and cried, telling him everything that had happened. He gave me some cuddles and I felt much better.
I think I never expected to react that way, since I am such a logical person and I knew it was the right thing to do. I don't regret it and I wouldn't do anything differently, but it helped to just have someone cuddle me and tell me I was a good person and that I didn't do anything wrong.
Induru, 20 years old
more stories -- share your story
Pregnancy hormones rise especially quickly in early pregnancy (that's why a pregnancy test can be done to measure hormones in urine) - and then fall more slowly when the pregnancy is no longer present. This rapid rise and fall definitely can trigger swings in emotions.