Yana's Story

My Abortion Story :

I am 24 years old with a previous marriage of 3 years and have a 3 year old baby boy; whom my X husband will not allow me to visit or have any contact with. I moved across the country to taiwan because i wanted to be part of my son's life but it doesn't work. anyhow, so, my stay in Taiwan made me meet this new man in my life. He made me feel like he loved m,e the most and wanted a life with me. So, i moved in with him and gave up everything in the states for the man i love and sho i believe will give me the life i have always wanted of.

so, i was found pregnant after 2 month of no protection. i knew it was going to happen but i really do wanted to be pregnant. Until the pregnancy actually happen. i realize he didn't want the baby. he wasn't ready he was too young and maybe he wasn't ready for all this marriage stuff. SO--we decided to go for an abortion. and i have really no choice because i cannot go about raising a kid without his support and .. when really. he is 100% too stressed and uptight!! i mean deep down he doesn't want it, no matter what, he will not be happy.

anyhow, so, i went for my abortion. i went for the surgery suction kind. it was the most painful experience of my life. I was crying after i woke up from my drugs and held the doctors hands and told him how much i loved children. and i really didn't want to make this hard choice of my life. anyhow, he said, i have to take good care of myself because if i have any infection, it wouldn't be good. so, the rest is really painful because i would have to go back every 3-4 days and he would have to check to see if the contractions were okay and since my uterus is inward, i always have left over blood clots inside and it would give me big cramps and big time bleeding. I didn't bleed at all the first couple of days. Then day 4-5 comes along and i am passing big time period like blood. and it wasn't good because when he clean me up, it was really painful. I didn't know what to expect. it just happened .... so, i really don't know if i will actually recover from everything. physically maybe yes. but emotionally, i am really not stable. I can't believe i am so stupid to believe a guy that would give me a great life and he actually wanted to have kids with me. when everything did happen, you start to see the true real side of everything.
Anyhow, no regrets because i really need to be ready in every single way for a baby. this way, i can be fully responsible.

I think i am still for abortion because sometimes if you have a baby its easy but raising a baby is really hard and people don't see how hard it is unless they actually go through it.

Yana
February 14, 2007