Soledad's Story*

Sometimes I wish I had no choice to make.
I need to talk to my husband, share the decision with him, but I am afraid he will disagree with me.
That would mean trouble.
And he is a good husband.
I don't want to lose him.

We had this decision to make before,
and we, I half-heartedly decided to go through with the pregnancy.
Now I have a son that I love, but I still want more than babies
And at this rate, a mother is all I will ever be.

I have no self respect.
I did not choose my pregnancies
And I was not stupid enough to go without birth control, but it appears that the pill just doesn't work for me.
I took it religiously.
I need some self respect.
I need a career, a purpose
a way to earn a living for myself.
Then, maybe when I have achieved something,
(I hear people say that children are their greatest achievement, and I think, why?, just about everyone can have them)
I will be able to be a better, happier, more fullfilled mother.
And a better happier more fulfilled woman for my future daughters.

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