Shauna's Story

Hello, thank you for the opportunity to connect on such a meaningful subject. I 'searched' with the words nurture and women tonight and came across your web site.

My name is Shauna and almost 8 years ago, at 19, I had an abortion. At the time I felt very pressured by my partner and my doctor to abort, something that for many years I was resentful of. At the very last moment I almost canceled my operation, but the thought of facing my boyfriend afterwards and owing him the money he paid for the abortion was enough of a deterrent.

I have mourned this child. Had I been given the opportunity to explore my feelings and thoughts about my unplanned pregnancy I may well have chosen to abort the fetus. I will never know this and cannot blame anyone for what became ultimately my choice.

I had a small moment of celebration yesterday when I realized that, for once, as I thought about this child I never bore I was not overwhelmed with grief. I could think, yes the child would be seven, in grade 2 and not feel such shame and wonder, "what if."

I menstruate in just a few days (evidenced by my current need for nurturance and sensitivity) and I treasure the power of this blood flow. My current partner and I talk about the possibility of having a child - I have a very romantic view of pregnancy that does not match my memories of my few months of previous pregnancy.

What I believe is that choice is essential and part of choice is considering all options with a caring and responsible friend, professional or partner.

Shauna
January 2000