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Sharina's
Story
It hurts, I'm sad that I feel the need to make
up stories about my abortion. I tell people that I had a medical condition and
I couldn't carry to term. That's a lie. I was 17 and in good health...
I found out I was pregnant and went through a whirl of emotions, fear, happiness,
frustration, and anxiety. I thought I was gonna keep my baby. I thought I could
do it. I thought sure it would be rough but I can make it! I didn't think at all...
I realized that no I couldn't do it... And after some long nights of
desperate prayers and talks I came to realize that for me adoption was not gonna
be a choice, I could not handle carrying a baby for 9 months to give it over to
a stranger and never know day by day if my baby was ok. I was 4 months
along and running out of options. My parents both wanted me to have an abortion
and my boyfriend of 2 years didn't believe in abortion. I had always said it was
a woman's choice, but now the choice was mine. I had planned on keeping the baby,
I named him, I had baby toys, clothes and got to hear his heart beat. It was hard
but I made my choice, I was going to have an abortion. It was scary
and it all moved so fast, the clinic was warm and the people friendly. The doctor
talked with me and explained to process, he made sure the choice was mine alone
and that I wanted to terminate. I was given 2 small pills to relax.... then an
injection, my feet were placed in the stirrups and the operation began. It took
maybe 2 minutes and it was over. A hour in recovery and I was sent home....
My life would never be the same. Don't get me wrong I have NEVER regretted
my decision!!!! I think about it every day and it's been over 2 years. I have
no doubt in my mind that my life would have never gotten to the place it is now!
I do want children someday, when I'm ready and I can provide a good life for my
baby. I know that the choice I made was the right one for me. I am so
grateful I live in a place that gave me the option of a safe legal abortion, I
don't know where I would be with out that it! Sharina
age 19, Seattle December 1999
more stories -- share your story
"This
experience however is teaching me more about defining my own sense of self and
about taking responsibility for my own future."
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