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Onyx's Story

I've had the worst life anyone can possibly have. I found the one guy who I thought would be there for me with everything and possibly be my forever but, things aren't always what they seem. Well, lucky for me eventually I found out I was pregnant!

Now let me inform you that I live in a foster home. I've lived in foster homes (more than 35) and group homes and programs so this wasn't good news. I didn't tell my foster mom because I knew that she would tell the foster dad and I would potentially get kicked out - I'd have no where to go ...

Well, as time went on my pregnancy became a worst nightmare. Me and my boyfriend broke up because he was a jerk and a liar, and I knew what I had to do. I told my foster mom and she suggested I have an abortion. I delayed the process so much but I knew what the right thing was so I made an appointment.

I'm so anti-abortion but c'mon, we all realize that we have something to work for. I know nobody wants to kill their baby but you need to do what's right for you.

So the day I went in to the doctor they made me do an ultrasound. But this was the internal ultrasound. But I had to think of it like this, you choose to let someone else go down there, why not let a doctor?

So they said I was 8 weeks 2 days and I was eligible for the pill. So that day I took the first pill. Nothing happened to me but really intense nerves. The next day however was the worst to come. I decided to take pill 2 at around 5. Nothing happened in the first 45 minutes but eventually I felt the worst cramps ever. Those lead to a fever which made me ache. I couldn't move, I couldn't eat. It took me about 5 minutes to get into the bathroom and once I sat on the toilet, I was not going anywhere. That's when I realized how bad I was bleeding. It felt like contractions would I think. Everything was draining out. I eventually threw up because I couldn't take the pain but accidentally all over my floor. My entire body hurt, I got cold then really hot and at one point passed out on my wall. This was by far the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. My foster mom was a huge support. She stayed with me the entire night. When I fell asleep, the pain simmered. I knew what was going on but it was a lot better. At about 2am I woke up and used the bathroom. I felt the fetus come out. I've never felt so hurt in my life. All I remember thinking is I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But as I said it was the only thing I could do.

The next day was not bad at all. Just the emotions of what you dealt with the day before. I know nobody wants to do this, and be sure its the right choice for you. But when you do chose to take these pills, be ready for the agony of both the pain and loosing someone you made. I kinda feel guilty but that's normal.

I'm still having cramping and random clotty bleeding. Hopefully this isn't a sign of infection, cuz nobody wants an infection down there.

Well I feel a lot better! Someone will read my story! Thank you.

Onyx
2011