Marni's Story

I am about to have my 6th abortion since I was 15. I am now 35.

My first 2 were with my first boyfriend, I was 15 and 16 years old. My 3rd was with my ex-husband when I was 19 or 20. ( I had 2 live births before that one.) I got divorced after only 3 years of marriage. I went through two long term relationships after the divorce.. never got pregnant. Lo and behold, I met the "man of my dreams" and got pregnant after knowing him only 2 months. That was my 4th. We planned to be married the next year, got pregnant again 1 month before the marriage. We both decided that we didn't want any children, that was my 5th.

On and off birth control pills, having good intentions of using condoms but never do, this last and 6th abortion I am about to have is probably the worst one I have to face. I am devastated, angry with myself for being so stupid, on the brink of a nervous breakdown, totally distraught. But I know that I cannot have this child. And to ensure that this never happens again, (hopefully), I am having my tubes tied on the same day.

I find it ironic that I am having a hard time with the tubes being tied, given my history, maybe it's just the fact that I am giving up my womanhood. I don't know. All I know is that although it is our choice, abuse of abortion is not fun, it's emotionally draining, and if anyone is reading this, Please, Please, Please if you know you don't want any children, but happen to be VERY fertile, do consider sterilization. I am looking forward to putting an end to this madness.

Woman do have choices, be smart.

Marni
December 1998