Macy's Story

Hi. I'm 22 and already have two children: a 2 yr old and an 8 month old. Recently, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to terminate.

I was starting to feel sick and my period was late so I decided probably it was best to take a test just to make sure, but when i took the test it said positive and and me and my partner were happy at first.

But then after a couple of days, reality sank in. We realized that looking after a toddler and a baby was hard enough already and having another one in 9 months time just wouldn't work.

I called up and booked an appointment for my 2 weeks time, but pregnancy nausea was terrible. I couldn't take it knowing why I was feeling sick and that we weren't keeping it - I just wanted it over so we called up and got an appointment the next day. I chose to have the medical termination as the surgical sounded really scary to me. I was 5 to 6 weeks LMP when they did the scan. Just sitting in the waiting was heartbreaking.

At the next appointment, the doctor gave me a pill orally to stop it growing. Those words "stop it growing" just broke me and I cried although I had made my decision I kept thinking I was hurting it. The doctor said that it was very early in pregnancy and that reassured me. The tablets made me very feel sick and I was incapable of doing anything because I felt so ill.

I had one more appointment two days later. I was to insert 4 tablets into my vagina and it would cause me to miscarry. That was upsetting too. They told me it was going to be painful with heavy bleeding and cramps. About 2 hours later it started and yes I did need paracetamol but it was just like very light period cramps and the bleeding was really heavy but not bad. I would advise wearing disposable nickers and maternity pads as it is very heavy. I am still bleeding now 1 1/2 weeks in but its just a normal period now and there's no cramps at all in fact after that 1 day I had no cramps or tummy aches.

I now understand all those women who wrote it was a relief when it was all over because I'm glad that I made that decision as it was for my other 2 kids, but i do still cry when i think about what could have been sometimes. But then I remember why and I'm happy. I will have another baby in the future when the time is right and that's what you have to remember - its YOUR decision do what's best for you.

I have 2 children and it's the best thing I've ever done in my life and i wouldn't change it for the world, but another one wouldn't have been fair to it or them. I'm glad I made the right choice and I can focus on my other 2. good luck x

Macy
2011