Lorie's Story

Being a single parent is not something I had wanted to do with my life. Although it is a reality for me now. I am the proud mother of two beautiful children, Ashton, age 4 and Anna, age 3 months. I am filled with joy in my relationship with them.

At the age of 18 I became pregnant. It was not something I had planned and it was definitely not something I wanted to deal with. My partner at the time wanted me to have an abortion. He told me that we were too young to raise a baby. He may have been right, but I knew the decision had to be mine. I had to think about how having a baby would postpone my college education and affect my lifestyle. If I chose to have an abortion I would be able to just go on with my life as I planned. I also had to think about the fact that if I had the baby, I’d be raising it alone.

I chose to keep the baby, in spite of everything I would have to put on hold. After I had my son, things were not all peachy. I was on welfare and always stressing about my bills. I had to go back to work when my son was 2 months old. In order to make ends meet, I had to work 2-3 jobs at once. I had to put my son in daycare and at night I would find friends and family to care for him. When I wasn’t working, I spent the rest of my time with my son. I didn’t get to go out much, I was either too tired or too broke. I then found a job at FWHC and everything started to become stable with my life. I was able to spend lots more time with my son and not stress as much about finances. Finding a job that will suit your needs is hard to do. I was very lucky.

About 3 years later, I became pregnant again. This was another unplanned pregnancy. I had always wanted another child, even though it was tough raising one. I knew I would be taking on another big responsibility if I kept it. I got all the lectures from my friends and family. Some called me crazy and stupid, others just told me to do what I thought was best. I decided to keep the baby and just deal with whatever problems came about. I had great support from my friends and family.

After the birth of my baby girl, I found out how tough it actually can be. I do not regret ever having my kids, but there are times when I wish I could better handle the responsibility for all of our needs. If I could change things, I would probably not have had children at such a young age.

I strongly support women in the choices they make regarding their pregnancy. I would never encourage anyone to make the choices I made, unless they are absolutely ready. Being a single parent is as challenging as it is rewarding, but it is not something everyone can do. I believe women should do what they feel is best for their situation. They should all realize that having a baby can forever change their life. It surely did mine.

Lorie
May 1997

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"feminism = respecting females as total equals; being actively involved in dismantling sexism, a structural violence"