Leah's Story

I had an abortion just a few hours ago, and I've been waiting until now to share my story. I am happily married and was off the pill for a year and half in hopes to conceive a baby with my husband. Six weeks ago, I got pregnant, after making the bad choice to sleep with another man. I use the word choice, not mistake, because it was definitely a choice that I made. And one that I will forever regret. The man I had the affair with is happily married as well. You might be asking, Why do two happily married people risk everything for sex? Because we were horny and stupid. That's it.

I am excited to begin a family with my husband, which is why my decision to have an abortion was so difficult. I knew I could not tell my husband the truth about the affair. It would have destroyed my marriage. And I would not deceive him for life by having the child and pretending that he is the father. The other man has a great life, as well, and neither of us wanted to hurt our families.

I believe I have lived a lifetime of emotions in that last 4 weeks. I believe that what I did today was selfish and wrong. I paid someone $400 to kill my baby this morning. Abortion was the easy way out. If I had any character at all, I would have told the truth, had the baby, and dealt with the consequences. Instead of doing the right thing, I did the best thing. Having the abortion saved my marriage. And now I know I can get on with my life.

This is a secret that will go to the grave with me. I have asked God to forgive me. I know that he has.

As I looked around the room at the faces of the other 18 women getting abortions this morning, I couldn't help but feel sad. None of those women wanted to be there. None of those women wanted to kill their babies. We were all looking for that second chance to make things right in our lives again. I believe I got a second chance today. And I will never break my vows of marriage again.

Leah
15 January 1999