Kalpana's Story

I'm 29 and though I should know better and I do, I put myself in the same situation twice. I love my daughter and I would give her the world if I could afford it, but her father chose his girlfriend over being there to help raise his only daughter.

A year later he comes back around and, trying to do the best for my daughter to have her mother and father in the home together, I took him back. It's been a struggle for the past month and half but now I find out that I am pregnant and all he can say is he can't afford another child and he's not supporting another child. He has 2 others besides his daughter with me, and he's not interested. Not to mention his attack of me continuing to have kids out of wedlock that had to be brought up. 11 years and he still doesn't want to marry me and 1 1/2 kids later he still is not willing to work it out with me.

I would love to say I can do it again by myself as I have for the past year. But even if I do I'm once again putting my child in a stressful situation from the start because I cannot provide two parents. I give my daughter everything and I shelter her from the bad world around her but I cannot bring her brother or sister along for the ride because I'm scared. But I'm scared and I feel like a failure because I feel like I'm taking the easy way out.

Today I'm pregnant with my second child. By Monday I will only be a mother of a one year old.

Kalpana
2011