Elizabeth's Story

I have an abortion story, which I think illustrates Autumn's point that guilt or distress over abortion is learned. I have had two abortions, eight years apart.

The first abortion I had after a relationship with a boyfriend who broke up with me. At first, I felt some guilt over it because my family was religious, and they were horrified I had gotten pregnant in the first place. However, the overwhelming feeling for me was utter relief. I soon realized the guilt was borrowed, and not truly my own.

The second abortion happened when I had been married a year, and desperately wanted to have the baby. Unfortunately, I have a serious medical condition which makes pregnancy extremely dangerous. I had been using birth control, but got pregnant anyway. I was devastated to have to abort, but that's because the time was right for me to have a child. It was with my husband, with whom I wanted to build a family. I felt horrible about the abortion because I wanted the baby, NOT because I felt bad about abortion.

So for me, it's the context and the people around you that creates how you will react. Do I feel shame over either abortion? NO. I had to do what was right for me at the time. However, I feel sadness that I couldn't have the child I wanted. Nuances that anti-choice folk just can't seem to get a handle on.

Elizabeth
13 September 2000