Painful Silence

In sorrowful memory of the purposeful loss of my unborn child in 1986

i never knew you, little one,
but i think about you every day
and hope perhaps the day will come
that i can put your loss away.
four years i've missed of holding hands,
of gathering shells upon the beach,
of building castles in the sands,
and all the things that mothers teach.
i search for you in dreams at night,
but a ghost is all you'll ever be,
and in my soul rages a fight
that no one else can ever see.
i'm sorry, baby, you'll never run.
you'll never get to fly a kite,
or learn to shoot a BB gun.
I know it just isn't right.
whoever you were, i love you so,
and i suppose although, i let you go,
you'll live in me forever. . . .

Suzanne Vaughan

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