Miscarriage of Justice

I went in prayer with anger to blame God for my baby's death,
And could not believe the hateful words escaping on my breath.
I screamed, "You took my child, Lord, how could you be so unfair?
Why give to me such hopes and dreams to break my heart without a care?
I can't believe a loving God would put me in such pain"
(Sometimes I hope my life will end before I go insane)
While unsaved people have many kids they neglect, abuse or kill,
I ask just one to raise for you according to your will.
Why did you end this precious life the was thriving in my womb,
And leave behind a tiny corpse inside this living tomb?
What can I do to bring him back and end my terrible grief?
Take my life and end this strife so I'll no longer have to weep!
I know you saw inside of me those things left to me unseen.
Why didn't you do something, Lord? You could have intervened!
What purpose did this child serve the short time he was here?
Except to turn my life to hell while I wallowed in my tears.
I prayed to you most every night to help this little one grow,
And you saw inside my womb the things I didn't even know.
My precious child, don't think I do not understand your loss.
I felt the same pain you feel now when my son died on the cross.
I sent Jesus there to die for you -- The most painful thing I've had to do.
Then there was a somber pause as God choked back a tear
And I know that at that moment He was holding my baby near.
I never meant for anyone to suffer or to die, but humans chose a
different path -- to hate, and sin and lie.
I know behind the pearly gates, up with the Holy Trinity
There waits a child lost in life, with open arms to welcome me.

Diane Vellner

Written after my first miscarriage. I have since been blessed with a wonderful son, suffered another miscarriage and redeemed with twin daughters.

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