I am a 42 year old single Mom of three wonderful children ranging in ages of 8 years up to 20 years old. I have met a wonderful man but our relationship is also new. I became pregnant into the second month of our relationship. I was terrified, I had to go back to school to be able to make a better life for me and the three children I already have, I am all they have in this world.
I kept thinking to myself if anything ever happened to me who would look after them. I was so scared, I have always been pro life and thought I could never bring myself to abort a child, ever. My beliefs are of such that I just couldn't do it. As the pregnancy progressed my health started to become an issue and my reality was that I could not go through with the pregnancy. I had a practicum coming up and I would not be strong enough or well enough to start it let alone complete it. My funding for my schooling was on the line and all I could see was my life crashing in around me.
I had the appointment and had changed my mind over a million times trying to convince myself I could carry the baby to term, again...my reality was that I knew I was being foolish with my life and the future of my children's well being. I went through with the abortion, it was one of the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. I cried and cried for days afterward. I could not talk to anyone with out bursting into tears. It has taken me a fare bit of time to get back into my routine again, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what I did. It will haunt me for ever but I had no choice.
February 21, 2007
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