I'm expecting. As in "with child."
I always planned to have kids someday, but "someday" was never qualified.
I always expected to become a mother, but only after I first became a wife. Yet
here I sit, unmarried and pregnant. Every time I think I've forgotten about it
for a few minutes, I feel another cramp that seems more like a wave of reality
crashing over me than a muscle spasm.
The lady at the clinic said that the
cramps are due to my uterus stretching. Duh.
I still can't believe it's
true. I found out five days ago, and in five more days it won't be true anymore.
A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N. Now there's a scary word for you.
What kind of woman kills
a baby - her OWN baby? Is it really a baby? What if my parents find out? What
if there are protesters there who know me from church? What if something goes
wrong and I get really sick? What if I can no longer have kids afterwards? What
if I can't live with the guilt? What if I feel no guilt?
My boyfriend has
been great about it, and I feel closer than ever to him, but at the same time
I feel worlds away. He has no clue what I'm going through - physically, mentally,
or emotionally. When it's all said and done, he gets to walk away with no scars.
I wish I could say the same.
I have no doubt that abortion is the right
choice for me right now, for so many different reasons. But it's hard as hell.Natasha
more stories -- share your story
than 78% of Canadians believe abortion is a private matter between a woman and
her physician, Canadian pollsters found in a Jan. 1998 survey marking the 10th
anniversary of the Supreme Court legalizing abortion across Canada.