Molly's Story
Two months ago today

It's been exactly two months today since I had my abortion. I still know it was the right choice. I found out I was pregnant in December. I had just turned 18, a freshman at college. I was scared at first, then I got hysterical. I called my best friend, who picked me up and took me to her apartment. Then we went and got my boyfriend, the father. When I told him he was shocked, and a little scared too. We sat up at my friend's apartment, the three of us, drinking tea and talking about our options. By then, I was 6 weeks pregnant.

There was no way I could tell my parents. They were unsupportive my whole life, and going to them for help was not an option. I felt a little closed in at that point. I knew that having this child would mean being kicked out of my parent's house and being forced to quit college, regardless if I kept the child or gave it up for adoption. College was my life at that point, and I couldn't bear to give it up. So I decided I wanted an abortion.

My boyfriend cried at that point, but he was supportive. To this day, I am so proud of the way he handled this. So many guys would have walked away upon hearing the words "I'm pregnant". I was on Christmas break then, so the three of us decided to wait until I returned to school for the abortion. We made plans for the two of them to visit me on a weekend so they would be there with me when it happened. I spent a lot of time with my boyfriend the rest of break, and as he got used to the idea of a child the more happy he became. He would put his hand on my stomach and smile all the time. But never once did he ask me to change my mind.

After break, I began researching local abortion clinics. I finally chose one I felt comfortable with. I made the appointment, and my friend and boyfriend came to visit me that weekend. We were all nervous, but they were very supportive of me. The morning of the abortion came, and we drove to the clinic. I went through all the tests, urine samples and blood tests, as my friend and boyfriend sat in the waiting room. There were five women there, and we all joked about the tests together, but we were all nervous.

When I went in for my counseling session, I asked about the effects of some medicine I had been taking on the baby. I had heard that this medicine caused severe developmental problems, but I wanted to be sure. The counselor told me those things were true. She told me my child would have been born with half a nervous system, severely retarded. It saddened me to know that for my own problems, my child would have suffered so much. But it helped me to know that I was making the right decision.

The time came, and I went back into the room after hugs from my friend and boyfriend. I began to be really scared. One of the nurses promised me she would talk me through the entire thing. She was holding my hand as the doctor came in. The doctor was friendly and reassuring. I knew it would hurt, because the nurses had told me, so I was expecting the pain when it came. I won't lie to you. It really did hurt. But my nurses kept talking to me and stroking my forehead, and the doctor warned me when it was going to hurt. In about 3 minutes, it was over.

My nurses helped me into the recovery room, where a few of the others were already waiting. They gave me juice and I relaxed and talked with the others. It was good to know that I wasn't the only one, and the nurses came around checking on us. In my comfy chair with a blanket on me and a cup of juice in my hand, I felt more like I was on vacation than in recovery. I seriously felt fine, aside from being a bit weak.

After a while, they released me and I went out to my friend and boyfriend, who during the operation, had run and gotten me flowers. Then we left.

Now, two months later, I am still happy with my choice. My only guilt comes from knowing that my medicine affected my child. My boyfriend and I are still together, and once in a while we cry about our child together. When I go to the store and see the baby things, I sometimes miss our child. But I know it was for the best, and I do not regret it.

Every day I am thankful for my boyfriend, for my friend, and for the clinic that made such a tough time in my life a little more positive.

19 March 1999

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One fourth of all women live in countries where abortion is a crime.