Lavy's Story

I was 16 years old when I got pregnant. I'm 32 now but I still think about it from time to time.

I was afraid to tell my parents, and I hid my pregnancy from them four to five months. I figured if I had the baby secretly they wouldn't never know. No one knew I was pregnant not even my best friend. I tried to tell her but I don't think she took me serious, so I kept it to myself.

The young man whom I was pregnant by was the only one who knew and he wanted me to have the child, but I knew that would be a big disappointment to my parents. My parents didn't attend college they both were working class people and of course they wanted the best for me. They wanted me to attend college and find a great job and when I'm ready then start my own family.

One day I was laying in bed trying to put this pregnancy in denial. I really tried to figure out if I was pregnant or was it in my head (maybe it was a bad case of gas or something). But, one day I was laying in bed when I felt the baby move. I freaked out. Then I realized I needed to go to the doctor.

The next morning my mother was getting ready to go shopping with my aunts, she usually meet them downtown on Saturday morning. I heard her get ready and I came out of my room standing there with my robe on. In the state of Michigan you needed your parent to be with you if you were a minor to accompany you to see a doctor. I asked my mother could she take me to see a doctor, she looked strangely at me and she agreed to take me Monday morning.

Monday morning we go to the doctor's office and wait to be called. The moment of truth, I'll know if I'm really pregnant or if it's really a bad case of gas. (I hope it's gas). The doctor asked me to undress and put on this hospital gown. She then touch my stomach and listen to my stomach with her instrument. Well, she said your pregnant. I freaked. I screamed at her and called her a liar. She tried to calm me down and explained that it's ok, but I didn't want to hear it. She left the room while I got dressed. I wanted to be out of the clinic before she arrived back. I wanted to tell my mother a lie, that nothing was wrong, it's just gas, but the doctor caught me and asked to speak to my mother in the waiting room. She took me to her office that was right next door to the examine room I just left from. We all sat down, she asked me do you want to tell your mother or do you want me to tell your mom. I just cried, so she told my mother I was pregnant.

My mother didn't look or sound surprised at all, the only thing my mother said was "you know I figured that, because of her eating habits and her stomach was getting larger." The doctor told my mother I was 22 weeks pregnant. I think 5 months. I interrupted and said I wanted a abortion. My mother looked at me and was very calm, she didn't yell or showed any sign of anger. She asked me if I get an abortion - she don't want me to blame her for it. She then asked me are you sure this is what you want, because there is no turning back. I said yes I'm sure, and the doctor made the arrangements and I went to the hospital to have the abortion.

I was the youngest on the floor. Women from all nationalities were there having abortions (the same kind of course, I forgot what they called it) much older than me. The nurses on the floor were very nice and they even had a counselor who helped all the ladies to understand the procedure that was going to occur through the night. She was a kind women. She used a cane to get around she took special interest in me; I don't know why but I'm was grateful. She visited my room often she asked me what was my plans for the future, sat with me. She very helpful and gentle with me and I really needed that.

I had to deliver the baby as if I was 9 months. The baby was born dead. I delivered that next morning around 5 am. (They had to injected me with something that induce my labor and to kill the baby). The injection took place 30 minutes after arriving to the hospital. I mean it was an experience I will never forget. I went through the whole labor pain and delivery. When it was time to have the baby they wouldn't allow me to look at the baby, I want to see although I know the baby was dead I just wanted to see. They kept turning my head away and every time I wanted to turn my head in the direction of the dead Infant they would force my head the opposite direction.

My parents and I never talked about it or brought it up again. No one knew, it was like a family taboo. My parents didn't react the way I expected, they were like a best friend, surprising.

Since that experience I never been pregnant again or even close. When I'm ready maybe, but not until then. I don't regret for one day having this abortion. I 'm glad it was available for me to have especially at 5 months pregnant.

Love,
No regrets
Lavy

January 2001

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"Each woman's situation contrasts drastically-only she can decide her own unique path. I want to help create a world where women feel empowered and her choices accepted."
-Jennifer Earles