Jill's Story
The hardest thing I have ever done

My name is Jill, I led a pretty normal, almost picture perfect lifestyle. I was head cheerleader at my school, I was thin, pretty, blonde. Everything you would see in a TV show.

However everything I thought was on the up and up was changing. I met my boyfriend we fell totally in love. After some time together we decided to make love. Everything was fine for over a month. Just ONE time, and as soon as it was over I knew. I ran screaming and crying into the shower. I knew, yet for some reason, and I look back at it now and think how I could have handled it better, but I didn't. I was in denial. I didn't do anything for a long time. I didn't even take a test. After I finally did , I cried like I never have before. We went out to dinner that night, with his grandmother, it was very hard to act like everything was okay, cause it wasn't.

After some time I had an accident and had to go to the hospital. My mother and I were very close but I really felt I couldn't tell her this. The Doctor asked me if there was anyway I was pregnant and I lied and said no. My mother, I will never forget said "my daughter and I are very close she would tell me" then with that thought they wheeled me in for my operation.

After recovering, I went and had my abortion. It was painful and I cried alot. However, I thought things would get better. Days later, my boyfriend and I had come home and my mother was very upset. I was a very organized person, I had kept all the papers and notes from the abortion in a folder, I left it in my backpack, my mother never went in there. She did, she found it. After alot of tears and discussion with my family and my boyfriend things were okay.

It wasn't until more then a year later when I was doing work on the Roe vs Wade court decision that I realized what I had done. I have come to terms now with everything.

But I want to give my next child the freedoms I have now, and they wouldn't have had them if they were born then. I think about that child at least once a day. I cry sometimes, but I know there is no better place then where they are now.

I am on birth control and I take it religiously. I never, Ever want to go through that again. I will wait until I am planning on having children.

I hope that people can read this and almost get the sense of what I went through, please think about it before you do it. Because it's really true, it only takes ONE TIME.

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