Jackie's Story

Two years ago I made the choice of having an abortion. I can actually say that was the worst thing that I have ever done in my life. But if I had to do it all over again and I was in the same kind of relationship, I would do it again. I was 33 years old and with 3 kids, 14,6,and 9 and a single parent. That tells you there that I didn't make the right choices especially when it came to guys. But this pregnancy was way unexpected. My spiritual side of me said that I was committing a very big sin.

I talked with 2 trusting women from my church because I was in so much turmoil about what I was going to do. I knew if I'd kept it that I would be tied down even more and I didn't want to give up the activities and just the financial aspects of raising another child. I know that that was being selfish, but that was a chance that I was willing to take. I had to hide it from my boyfriend because he knew that I was pregnant, even when I was denying it. I think that hurt most of all. Anyway to make a long story short. He had been doing drugs and drinking for years and I didn't want to be stuck home with a sick child. That is my profession, taking care of sick people, but I didn't want the burden of it being on me.

From time to time I think about what I done and I do feel guilty. I finally told my boyfriend what I did and he forgave me. But I had to lie to my mom. She suspected that I was pregnant. I've not lied to my mom since I was 18. That made things even worse. For anyone that is thinking about doing this please seek guidance from a trusted friend. You need someone to talk to and someone who will listen and not judge. I'm glad that I had that. But now my goal is to not get myself caught up in someone so much that I don't take precautions like or should. I pray that I never go thru it again.

One last thing; the people at the abortion center were very nice. They even deducted 100 dollars because they knew that I didn't have the money. I don't encourage abortion, but if the occasion arised I will help someone if I see that they are struggling with that decision.

Thank you.

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