Hilary's Story

I was 17 at the time i found out i was pregnant and I was with my boyfriend for 3 years... he was my first love, the love of my life. At first i was scared, wondering how we were going to raise a baby but my boyfriend assured me everything would be alright and he would take care of us no matter what.  I believed him...

For the first 2 months, things were great, we were planning on moving in with each other and raising our baby. We had already discussed adoption, abortion, and other alternatives. We decided that we wanted to raise our child and show everyone who said we couldnt do it that they were wrong...

I was 12 weeks pregnant when i decided to go to ohio to visit my dad and break the news to him. I stayed there for two weeks. I was so excited to come home and see my boyfriend, i couldnt wait.  Little did i know my whole world would change. When i came home i found out he was cheating on me with another girl, I confronted him about it and he told me it was true. He also told me he wanted nothing to do with me or our baby, he said he wanted me to get an abortion but if i decided to keep it he would sign his rights to the baby over to me. I was so heart broken... how was i going to raise a child in this world by myself? I knew i had another option.

I discussed getting abortion with my parents, they left the choice up to me but told me i shouldnt go through with it because its what he wants, they said i should only do it if i want to because otherwise ill regret it.  They were right, I got an abortion at 13 weeks and looking back now i would have never gone through with it because i only did it to make my boyfriend happy. I thought if i got an abortion we would go back to the way things were before i got pregnant...they didnt. I did the most selfish thing i could do, all for the the love of a boy.

It was the best and worst thing that could have happened to me...The best because i found out what my boyfriend was truely like, the worst because i gave him something that i could never get back...my baby.  I am forever changed because of this experience, i live everyday to prove to myself i did the right thing but when i go to sleep at night i always ask myself the same question, 'Was it for him or me?'  After many months of constant guilt i still dont know the answer... but i know i cant change the past.


February 21, 2007

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