Half's Story

In January 1999, I had an abortion that changed my perspective on this whole issue.

My uncle is a Catholic ethicist, and I was born and raised a strict Catholic. I started to question my beliefs when I was in high school, and went through a lot of changes.

I started seeing my ex-boyfriend in mid-1998. I had very irregular periods back then, but I knew something was amiss in about December 1998. When I spoke to my GP about it he asked me what I thought of the relationship I was in and of the idea of abortion. Up until that point I hadn't really considered it.

It all seemed so easy. I went to the hospital where they gave me counseling as they legally have to, and they let me know all my rights and about the procedure etc. My boyfriend wouldn't go to counseling with me at the hospital. My best friends told me I was a murderer. People found out and wouldn't talk to me. I was too scared to tell my family, and I still haven't.

I went ahead with it anyway and I went in one day, had the operation [a D&C] and then left the following day. My boyfriend didn't even want to come in to the hospital to bring me a towel [as I hadn't brought one]. I didn't understand, but now I do. He didn't like hospitals and he was a bit of a cheater in the end, which I think was due to this whole thing. Our relationship went downhill after the abortion. I was told that 70% of uncommitted [nondefacto/marriage] relationships fail after something like this. Looks like I've become part of the statistics.

My abortion has haunted me ever since. The procedure was not done properly, I believe, as I had complications afterwards. If you are considering abortion, or doing a research assignment, know that everyone is different. Even the most devout people can change their views, and whatever you do NEVER judge someone on their actions until you've experienced what they have.

I was antiabortion, and in many ways I still am. The difference is now I can understand why some people have abortions and I can understand the pressures, especially on young women, people from strong ethnic or religious backgrounds and people in ill-formed relationships. I hope other people will one day understand too.

Abortion should be a choice for anyone who has read through all the information, been through all the emotional and moral conflicts or people who didn't have a choice to become pregnant.

The worst upbringing a child can ever have is one where they aren't loved or where there is hostility/guilt about the child. My sister was an "accident" and now she is a complete cow as an adult because she feels bitter/resentful towards my Mum and my father. Surprisingly, we were both raised in a loving, moral home. Proves that your upbringing doesn't always direct your life.

I hope someone out there understands this and can get something out of it.

Half, in Australia
September 2000

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