Ella's Story

I am 24 years old. I had always known for a long time that I didn't want to be a mother.  Many people tell me that I am just young and I will feel differently when I get older.  I keep very good track of my period dates. 

On January the 18th, 2007 I was a day late and decided to take a test because I had a really bad feeling.  I bought the test on my lunch break and went to my mother's who lives close.  I took the test and lo and behold, I got results that I was not ready for.  My two younger sisters were there and I had to use them for confirmation because I was somewhat shocked to say the least.  I knew immediately that I was not prepared to have a child and that I had to take corrective action.  I went back to work and began looking in the phone book.  I wrote down some numbers but didn't call them.  I wanted to wait until I told the father. 

My relationship with him had been very rocky over the past couple of months.  He is 33 years old and already has four children that he does not pay for.  We no longer lived together so I had to wait for him to call.  By 10 o'clock that night, I decided to make a phone call to a number that he was unaware that I had.  He claims that it was his cousin and his family hates me so much because of all that we had been through that it was best that I not have a way to reach him.  Anyway, I couldn't wait, I could not keep it in.  I called and I told him and he came over immediately.  He was very upset- not at the fact that I was pregnant but because I had kept from him that I had the number.  I had only planned to use in an emergency and I felt like this was one.  He's here and going off on me and asked me how I thought he was supposed to handle the news, basically why did I bother him?  He told me flat out with vengeance that he did not want a child by another woman that he couldn't trust.  He kept saying it repeatedly as if he were trying to burn it in my mind so that I would go "handle my business".  I got the point, I didn't want a child anyway and especially by a man that didn't take care of the others. 

I called around the next day which was Friday.  I had a consultation set for Monday.  It took about three hours and everyone was friendly and helpful.  I believe that they showed genuine concern for me and the decision that I was making. They were very informative of the risks and what the procedure entailed.  There were also other women there which actually made me feel better because they were in the same situation as I was.  I scheduled my abortion for the next day.

Here it was January the 23rd 2007, five days after I found out.  I was nervous but I knew that I was making the right choice.  The father wanted to go with me and offer support.  How dare he!  I went alone.  As I was sitting there I kept thinking how stupid of me to get myself into this situation.  There were options to take vicadin and valium.  The next step up was what they called laughing gas.  The other choice was an IV.  I chose to go with local medication.  They called me into the room and the doctor and a nurse came in.  I also had a nurse by my side holding my hand and talking to me during the whole thing. 

I could feel the pressure from the vacuum.  It felt like he was scraping my insides but it wasn't too terribly painful.  After about 7 minutes I was done.  My pregnancy was terminated.  I proceeded to go to the recovery room.  There were other women there a couple were crying.  But I wasn't. There was some cramping for about 15 to 20 minutes. I can't say that I was in horrible pain or that any part of my experience was horrific.  I mainly felt relief.  I felt as though I had just been given a second chance.  I was given several options of the birth control method that I wanted.  I chose the pill.  All in all, I don't ever want to go through it again, but I believe the right should always be there for women who have to make the most difficult decision ever. 

Thank you for reading this.


February 3, 2007

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