Danielle's Story

Two years ago, almost to the day, I had my abortion. I had just begun my first year of university and started dating this guy with whom I thought I could have a very meaningful relationship. My period was late but even before it was, I knew deep down that I was pregnant. I had been very irresponsible protection wise. My boyfriend had a lot of problems and I knew that there was no way he was ready to be a father. My family seems to rely on me to be the success of the family so I knew that I couldn't disappoint them. I decided to have the abortion without a doubt. I figured that with time I would get over it. I knew that it was the right decision for me. No family members know about it except my brother.

Unfortunately it has been two years now and I'm still a wreck especially this time of year. I feel as though no one will ever love me and I often find myself in meaningless relationships which only makes things worse. I want so much to be loved again to feel that I am worthy of someone caring about me but I feel as though that day will never come. Each day I wake up with this feeling of emptiness. Although I know that I did what I had to do I can't shake the feeling that I never should have put myself in that situation in the first place. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself or if I could ever accept anyone forgiving me.

December 1998

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58% of women who had an abortion had been using a contraceptive during the month they became pregnant.
- Alan Guttmacher Institute