I have not yet had an abortion. I will next Thursday. I wanted to write this however to express my feelings and let other women out there read perhaps the same feelings they are going through. I believe the healing process starts before the actual act - in this case abortion.
I’m 18 years old. A college student with big dreams but have close to nothing right now. The relationship with my parents is horrible. (My mother HAD to marry my father when she got pregnant at age 18) I had sex with my boyfriend used a condom. Had sex again and used a condom. The third time he used a condom. But after he came, he took off the condom. Without thinking in the heat of the moment, he penetrated me. When we noticed what we did, we jumped off each other. I was not too concerned, and went to buy a Morning after Pill. Afterwards I just felt weird - thinking it was only my nerves. I went to a planned parenthood to get Birth control. Everything was going great, until the pregnancy test results came back POSITIVE written in bold red. All I said was "oh" in horror.
They presented my options. And not wanting to hear about possibly having the baby; I told them I had made up my mind - I wanted an abortion. They gave me a number to call. I called my boyfriend and somehow made it home. I made the decision before telling him so I could be sure it was what I wanted. I had always believed in choice just never in abortion. I’m scared. I wonder if it is right and yet I am relieved that I have the ability to make such a decision. In fact right now I’m not as scared about the act, I’m more scared that I will be away from home for about 7 hrs and don’t know how I will explain the disappearance. My boyfriend is understanding and supports what ever my decision is. The experience has brought us closer in a much deeper level. We have not told anyone. He thought we should. I want the decision to be all my own and don’t want to tell anyone else - not yet. I keep on wondering if I will eventually tell my mom. Wondering if she will agree with the made decision. I don’t know if I should repeat to her a tragic situation that will remind her of her own.
I plan to post The after Story once the abortion takes place. In hope that someone will benefit from reading it just as I have from reading the other stories.
I’m scared - but determined. I’m relieved I can make my OWN decision. I feel in control of my life to an extent I had never had before.
God Bless Us Weak Creatures.
more stories -- share your story