Celia's Story

I am so happy I have found this website, and your stories.
I have had the abortion last september. I was 19 and pregnant of my still-boyfriend, we were going out since 5 months when it happens. He was the first with whom I had made sex. Before that, I had already decided to take the pill, but I study medicine and I couldn't find the time to make the blood-analysis so time passed and we haven't been careful using not condom.

When I realized I had a child inside me I was petrified... no it couldn't happen really, there had to be a mistake, I'm dreaming it's not real, I even study medicine and I know exactly the days when I am fertile! I didn't tell anyone, only my boyfriend. we loved each other (and still do!) so much and he has been perfect near me EVERY TIME I needed and I need now. he didn't want to tell me what to do, he wanted me to feel free to choose but I insisted for him to tell me what he thinked about it. he says he would prefer me to abort because his parents had had him when they were very young so that he had grown up with his grandparents (and later his parents divorced): he didn't want the same sufferings for his son and, as he has seen his mother suffering, he didn't want it happening to me.

He said that he loved me and that he will surely want some children with me when we'll be older and financially indeipendent. but he also said he would support me whether my desicion would have been. he had been so sweet, he never left me for an hour. I decided to abort, I think I've done the right thing for a 1000 of reasons.

I think all women which decide to abort do the right thing beacuse who can live such a trauma for nothing? I envy those women who say they're ok now and do not regret... I think that if I could come back I'd chose the same thing, but the idea of what I've done has persecuted me so long. It wasn't easy at all for me also because my married-sister was pregnant too but she had her beautiful daughter, and beacuse I live in such a catholic country. I am Italian, and I wish my country will lose its catholic way of thinking as soon as possible... there have been doctors and nurses who have been absolutely not professional: they looked at me as thinking "poor girls", but I have even found a doctor who screamed "I don't agree!!!!" at the telephone.

Fortunately in Italy there were also good people who helped my boyfriend and me. It has been almost more difficult AFTER... but things are going better since I have tell to my cousin-best-friends and to my mom. my mom also told me that my sister (who now has a baby) have once aborted... that shocked me, but made me feel better.

Now I think I haven't overcome 100% the abortion, yet... I had so long wished to wake up and find out that never of that has really happened...
I don't want to wish this anymore, I want to accept it and to go on
I want to say thanks to the people who organize this website and to the women who write here: you can't imagine how important it is. I'm better now than half an hour ago when I found this website and started reading.


February 13, 2007

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