Bella's Story

I had an abortion a little over three months ago.  I am 23 years old, and I had just started dating a new guy who I thought was perfect.  We slept together the first night we officially were together, and I got pregnant. 

I never worried about getting pregnant before.  I used condoms from time to time, but I never was on birth control because I don't like taking something that affects my body in such a way. 

When I found out I was pregnant I told my boyfriend and my mom, and my mom acted like she wanted me to have an abortion because she made me feel like my life would be over if I had this baby.  My boyfriend was scared and wanted me to have an abortion.  He said he would be there if I didn't, but I felt like he would resent me kind of if I did have it.  I didn't feel any support from him or my mom, but I really wanted to keep it.  I just didn't know where to turn. 

So I decided to have the abortion, and I regretted it the minute after it happened.  I hated the feeling of having something growing inside of me and having it being ripped out.  My boyfriend ended up breaking up with me three weeks later, when he promised me we would be together and someday have another baby together.  Those were the promises I made him make in order for me to go through with the abortion.  He is trying now to work things out with me, and he goes to therapy with me and is sorry for the way he acted, but it hurts that he lied to me.  I feel so stupid for not being stronger and standing up to him and my mom.  I am not pro-life by any means, because I feel each situation is different.  But I know that I could have had my baby and not listened to my mom and my boyfriend. 

I think about it every day and wish I would have been smarter.  If you are thinking about having an abortion, please educate yourself about ALL of the options so you truly can make an informed decision.  Talk to a therapist, and don't feel rushed to make the decision.  I felt rushed because Planned Parenthood said that the sooner in your pregnancy you have an abortion, there is less risk involved.  Now I feel like I don't even care if I get pregnant again.  I feel like I want to have that baby back that I aborted and I want a second chance.  I can't imagine not being pregnant before March (that was when I was supposed to deliver).  I don't know any women who have felt this way after an abortion. 


February 21, 2007

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