My only experience with pregnancy was both a wonderful and frightful
symptoms were all there except for the fact that it was not time for my period
to occur. I began feeling really tired and found myself stopping to eat much more
than I did before. There was also this constant tiring feeling. I frequently told
my boyfriend about how sick I felt, in details, hoping he would come up with some
other reason other than I was pregnant since I was not sure if this was something
that I was willing to accept.
when I realized that my period was three days late and I was feeling more drained
than usual, I blurted out to my boyfriend during an argument that I was pregnant
without being sure myself. It was then that I went to the pharmacy and got the
test that proved to be positive. A wave of mixed emotions flew over me, I was
happy, scared and shocked but most of all doubtful. After telling my boyfriend
I confirmed the results with a lab test the following day.
fell in love with my baby almost immediately. Right away I knew that this baby
would be a wonderful little girl. I was afraid of the pain of childbirth and failing
at parenthood but I knew I would be very proud to have this baby. Everyday I caressed
my slightly bulging stomach and talked to my baby. The world suddenly revolved
around this precious little baby girl. Then I got really scared.
in a chemical plant was definitely, if not already, going to have an effect on
my baby's health. I would have to stop working throughout my entire pregnancy
and I had major bills to foot with a savings to help me along. That's when the
tears came. I could not believe that I would have to give up my baby because of
my financial obligations. It tore me apart. I spoke to my mom, my boyfriend and
some close friends about it. I felt trapped. I sought out the advice of my personnel
department but to no avail. I finally realized I would have to give up my baby,
my bills were too large for even my boyfriend to handle without me and I could
not risk my babies health.
had nightmares and lots of depressive moods because of the decision that I had
arrived at. I got even more sick. I still loved and wanted my baby. I prayed for
a way to keep my baby. I finally had the abortion and experienced a terrible loss.
I've kept journals of my thoughts during this time hoping that this would help
speed up my healing process. Everything triggers memories of my baby. I keep referring
to her as though I had given birth to her but she went away.
have learnt to be safer where sex is concerned and the things that I thought were
really important before somehow now seems of minimal importance. I never realized
during this process what a huge impact this would have on my boyfriend but surprisingly
enough he suffers just as much as I do. At times he is really angry with me but
he tries hard to work through it. I know that this experience have changed my
life forever. Arnetta
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of adolescents infected by HIV are girls and 7% are boys 7% of the boys
are not infecting 93% of girls the girls are being infected by adult men.
- Advancing Solutions to Adolescent Pregnancy in Seattle