Angie's Story

I waited until I was 21 years old to have sex. At first it was because I wanted to wait until I was married or at least wait for "the right one." Later, I just thought it was important to wait until I felt like I was old enough to deal with the consequences of sex. Not only the possibility of pregnancy or diseases but the emotional responsibility as well. I had been dating my boyfriend at the time for a year or so. It just seemed like our relationship had matured to the point where I felt comfortable about beginning a sexual relationship.

At first he used condoms because I wasn't on birth control. After a while he began to beg and plead with me to let him go without a condom. I eventually gave in. Our little game of pulling out at "the right time" worked for a while but I knew I needed to get on birth control. I saw a gynecologist and got my first cycle of pills but he told me to wait until after my next period to begin taking them. Well, my next period never came.

I began to get horrible morning sickness and a horrible taste in my mouth that just wouldn't go away. I took several tests and finally went to the doctor to be sure. It's strange thinking back now, I don't think I ever considered having that baby. I never thought I would have an abortion but I never questioned at that moment that I would. I loved my boyfriend but I didn't think we'd be together forever. And he never gave me any indication that he wanted the baby or wanted to help and support me with raising a child. I was already struggling financially and I worked part-time at a prominent stock brokerage firm that wouldn't look too highly on my pregnancy. And of course I didn't want to disappoint my family. Although I know they would have supported me if I chose to keep the baby, I just didn't want them to know how foolish I was. Especially after being so open about my abstinence for so long.

My morning sickness turned into 24 hour sickness. I threw up all day long. It was difficult just to get out of bed to see the doctor. I was very scared when I went in for the abortion, but it was over very quickly. There was some pain but nothing like I imagined. Afterwards I started feeling better almost immediately. It was such a relief. I wasn't sick anymore and I wasn't pregnant anymore. I am so thankful to all of the women who pushed to make abortion a legal and safe option for women.

For me the decision was easy. Although I knew the decision was a very serious thing that could affect me for the rest of my life, I knew that actually having a child that I wasn't prepared to take care of and provide for and support and love the way every child deserves is even more serious. I had a rough time growing up and compared to some it wasn't that bad. I refuse to put a child through that. I refuse.

Now, almost ten years later, I am an avid supporter for pro choice. And although I do think back about my decision to have an abortion and wonder what my child may have been like, I know in my heart I made the right choice. I don't feel sad. I didn't feel sad then. I felt empowered, like I actually had control of something for the first time in a very long time.

Be strong, Angie
23 March 2001

more stories -- share your story

Birth Control Comparison - alll methods Abortion Info from Feminist Women's Health CenterShare your story
Poetry and Prose - by women about their reproductive lives Teens HealthResources for Women of Color
Feminist Abortion Clinics Real Life Abortion Stories from teens Questions and Answers


"Nothing strengthens the judgment and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility." - Elizabeth Cady Stanton