When I found out I was pregnant in July of 2003, I was devastated. I truly believed that my life was over. I had just found out that the baby's father, my boyfriend of only a few months, had a wife and child in another state. That was it; my life was ruined.
Telling my mother was the hardest part. She was so disappointed in me. But she told me that she supported me and whatever I wanted to do.
What I wanted to do was get my life back. I wanted to be a carefree college girl like I had been only a month ago. I knew I was not ready to be a parent, and I certainly didn't want my child to know this ex of mine as his father. But I opted not to have an abortion. Two of my best friends had had them, and both were haunted by them after several years. And I also realized that my child shouldn't pay for my carelessness. So, I started calling adoption agencies.
I got dozens of profiles of waiting couples. But the couple I ended up picking were the first ones I looked at. They struck me, for no tangible reason really. As I read the profile, I liked them even more. They were in their late thirties and infertile, with a 2-year-old son, who was also adopted. I spoke to them on the phone several times, and they flew 1,500 miles to meet me. They were with me in the hospital, and they made it clear to me that they would understand if I changed my mind. The agency paid my rent and all of my bills and gave me a birthmother's scholarship to go back to school.
My son was born on March 12, 2004. It was not easy to part with him, and it was not easy to carry him for 9 months. But, at the same time, it was only 9 months. And I wouldn't do anything differently. Daniel's family sends me emails and photos of him. He is very well taken care of and they couldn't love him more. And his big brother adores him.
Everything worked out for all of us. I got the life that I loved back. This wonderful family was blessed with a son. And my baby got a great family.
I would never judge a woman who has an abortion. However, it's important that all women know all of their options.
November 1, 2004
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